Going to China in a Few Weeks

I’ve mentioned that my boyfriend is Chinese, right? We’re going to China later this month for two weeks to meet his family (for the first time fuuuuuuuhhhhhh) and have a look around.


  1. His family doesn’t speak English. I don’t speak Chinese. This could be either excellent or terrible. The good news is that even if I put my foot in my mouth and say something weird, my boyfriend has to translate it, so he can just make me sound normal. I wish I always had a dialogue filter that efficient.
  2. The great firewall. I will have no Facebook, no Google, no Kakaotalk, no Instagram, no Pinterest, no YouTube. My boyfriend tells me that because Google is blocked, I won’t even have access to my gmail account. This is a real pain in my ass. Most of my unwinding time at the end of the day consists of using one or all of these apps. It also worries me that for two weeks I’ll be nearly completely cut off from my friends and family.
  3. Dying of lung cancer. Or hepatitis. My boyfriend keeps telling me that we can only visit Beijing for a few days because he’s really worried that the poor air quality will make me sick. Also the US government STRONGLY RECOMMENDS that I get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and TYPHOID. Ugh. Okay.
  4. It’s gonna be hot as hell over there. And I hate sweating. Especially because I have pretty legit body dysmorphia and the moment I feel hot, I also feel puffy, and therefore like a literal monster. Gotta go on a hardcore diet for the next two weeks y’all.

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There are a lot of bands making the same kind of music as IDIOTAPE in Seoul. In my humble opinion IDIOTAPE is far superior to any and all of them. Their music has direction, restraint, a real message. Most of the other bands attempting this style just end up sounding messy and self-serving. A song starts out well and then spirals into some experimental bullshit that I end up skipping after minute 6.

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For the Lazy Korean Indie Fan

If you know anything about me, you know I’m kind of (read: super) lazy. I don’t like doing things. I like not doing things. My boyfriend rolls his eyes at me when I explain that it takes a week for me to work up the energy to make a doctor’s appointment (I’ve been out of contacts for almost two months). One thing I do like is music! Korean music! Korean INDIE music!

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Confirm your worst fears

South Korea will now allow you to check on your boyfriend’s criminal record! The Korea Herald says…

“South Korean police announced Sunday plans to introduce legislation that would allow Koreans to browse their romantic partners’ criminal history, after discovering nearly 60 percent of Korean date abuse offenders arrested last month had previous convictions.”

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BuzzFeed’s guide on how not to use Korean skincare

This video was so cringeworthy because they don’t apply he masks properly! Buzzfeed should’ve had someone on hand to show them how to do it! Half of a product’s efficacy is in how it’s applied! I have used many a sheet mask in my life and let me tell you that is not how it’s done.

I did enjoy how all he participants, while seemingly horrified during the process, reacted pretty favorably after everything was said and done. Resistance is futile!

Nat King Cole Sang Arirang Once

It is so so so sweet that Nat King Cole sang Korean folk tune Arirang. It is a beautiful song and I think a wonderful gesture for a foreigner to learn and perform it. Especially a legend like him.

His Korean sucks, and this video has Japanese artwork in it (whyyyyyyy), but there you have it.

BONUS: So Hyang’s beautiful rendition of Arirang after the jump. Continue reading

A Korean deli owner was killed on Law and Order

I’m not exactly bragging about this, but one of my favorite things to watch is old episodes of Law and Order. If you’re ever indicted for a felony, just gimme a call because after seeing upwards of 250 trials, I know all the laws. All the important ones, anyway. And you wouldn’t believe how convincing I sound when I yell out “Objection Your Honor!”

I was watching an episode today and a Korean deli owner was shot. Once in the back, once in the head. Pretty brutal. His name was Sam Kim. Or Kim Sam. The writers were lazy about giving him a Korean sounding name. But I thought: I can totally get away with writing about Benjamin Bratt now!

Benjamin Bratt was on Law and Order in the mid nineties and boy was he a dreamboat. Just look at that bone structure! That glorious hair! The suits! If I knew he’d be the cop arresting me I’d commit all the crimes. Maybe even murder a Korean deli owner.

Well, no I wouldn’t. But you get it, right?