Going to China in a Few Weeks

I’ve mentioned that my boyfriend is Chinese, right? We’re going to China later this month for two weeks to meet his family (for the first time fuuuuuuuhhhhhh) and have a look around.

TOP CONCERNS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:

  1. His family doesn’t speak English. I don’t speak Chinese. This could be either excellent or terrible. The good news is that even if I put my foot in my mouth and say something weird, my boyfriend has to translate it, so he can just make me sound normal. I wish I always had a dialogue filter that efficient.
  2. The great firewall. I will have no Facebook, no Google, no Kakaotalk, no Instagram, no Pinterest, no YouTube. My boyfriend tells me that because Google is blocked, I won’t even have access to my gmail account. This is a real pain in my ass. Most of my unwinding time at the end of the day consists of using one or all of these apps. It also worries me that for two weeks I’ll be nearly completely cut off from my friends and family.
  3. Dying of lung cancer. Or hepatitis. My boyfriend keeps telling me that we can only visit Beijing for a few days because he’s really worried that the poor air quality will make me sick. Also the US government STRONGLY RECOMMENDS that I get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and TYPHOID. Ugh. Okay.
  4. It’s gonna be hot as hell over there. And I hate sweating. Especially because I have pretty legit body dysmorphia and the moment I feel hot, I also feel puffy, and therefore like a literal monster. Gotta go on a hardcore diet for the next two weeks y’all.
  5. THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE IN CHINA.

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Nat King Cole Sang Arirang Once

It is so so so sweet that Nat King Cole sang Korean folk tune Arirang. It is a beautiful song and I think a wonderful gesture for a foreigner to learn and perform it. Especially a legend like him.

His Korean sucks, and this video has Japanese artwork in it (whyyyyyyy), but there you have it.

BONUS: So Hyang’s beautiful rendition of Arirang after the jump. Continue reading

A Korean deli owner was killed on Law and Order

I’m not exactly bragging about this, but one of my favorite things to watch is old episodes of Law and Order. If you’re ever indicted for a felony, just gimme a call because after seeing upwards of 250 trials, I know all the laws. All the important ones, anyway. And you wouldn’t believe how convincing I sound when I yell out “Objection Your Honor!”

I was watching an episode today and a Korean deli owner was shot. Once in the back, once in the head. Pretty brutal. His name was Sam Kim. Or Kim Sam. The writers were lazy about giving him a Korean sounding name. But I thought: I can totally get away with writing about Benjamin Bratt now!

Benjamin Bratt was on Law and Order in the mid nineties and boy was he a dreamboat. Just look at that bone structure! That glorious hair! The suits! If I knew he’d be the cop arresting me I’d commit all the crimes. Maybe even murder a Korean deli owner.

Well, no I wouldn’t. But you get it, right?