A Korean deli owner was killed on Law and Order

I’m not exactly bragging about this, but one of my favorite things to watch is old episodes of Law and Order. If you’re ever indicted for a felony, just gimme a call because after seeing upwards of 250 trials, I know all the laws. All the important ones, anyway. And you wouldn’t believe how convincing I sound when I yell out “Objection Your Honor!”

I was watching an episode today and a Korean deli owner was shot. Once in the back, once in the head. Pretty brutal. His name was Sam Kim. Or Kim Sam. The writers were lazy about giving him a Korean sounding name. But I thought: I can totally get away with writing about Benjamin Bratt now!

Benjamin Bratt was on Law and Order in the mid nineties and boy was he a dreamboat. Just look at that bone structure! That glorious hair! The suits! If I knew he’d be the cop arresting me I’d commit all the crimes. Maybe even murder a Korean deli owner.

Well, no I wouldn’t. But you get it, right?